I read the other stories and realized that there are people out there who understand what I go through every day. My pain didn’t really start until I was about 18. Right after that, I lost my sister. Of course everyone believed that was the real “trigger” of my pain. Though the grief was very painful, it was not why my head always hurt.

Today I am 39 years old. I have been poked, prodded, tested, and tortured by the “best migraine doctor in the country.” [Tweet this.] I have had many MRIs and CAT scans. Each time, I really wanted them to find something… ANYTHING to prove that I wasn’t making this up. Maybe there would be something they could “fix.” I’ve been told all of my life that it is impossible for me to be in pain every day. I have tried all the “normal” or “routine” meds, but my body adapts so quickly that docs have to continue to change them. Doctors give up on me because they can’t think of anything more they can do.

Now I am offically disabled. I worked for the last 11 years and was at the point of losing my job because I couldn’t work many days. I’m not even 40 and will not be able to work again (unless they find a miracle that will stop my pain). This is from someone who has worked since the age of 14.

I never make plans or promises since often I am not able to leave my dark room. [Tweet this.] Often when I go to church, I have to go to a different part because the worship music is too loud. And light is my biggest enemy. My church family is very understanding when I wear my sunglasses during the services. But people want to help. Many people come to me with home remedies. My mother has spent thousands of dollars on books, natural meds, and anything else that possibly might help. My brother has spent many hours on the internet doing research. Many people ask “How do you feel? How is your head?” I just want to put on a sign that says, “Yes, I hurt.”

Although I have learned that I am not alone in suffering daily with this pain, all I can see is another 50 years with the pain getting worse. I feel helpless and frustrated as we all do. But I am able to look at this as something I can handle. If I had to watch a family member or friend go through this, it would be unbearable. I think those of us who suffer these attacks are strong and able… even in the worst of the pain. We cannot give in or give up. Maybe through us they can find a cure.

Thank you to those who share your stories. I am saddened that there are so many of us… too many. But I also am strengthened by knowing that I’m not crazy, and I’m not alone. No matter how bad I hurt. [Tweet this.]